“What if I get up there and don’t have one single word to say?”
That was my conversation with God in the bathroom just minutes before I went up to talk last night.
Because I was about to embark on a new adventure of trust with Jesus. A place and scenario where I had never been before.
As I shared yesterday, all I knew that I was supposed to do was to interact with these women as if I were talking with them one on one. That my talk would be conversational instead of instructional. That my posture would be sitting on a stool rather than standing. There would be a hands-on illustration for the women to participate in interlaced within the talk (which ended up being hilarious and fun!).
I had an outline in my head and a list of verses in my hand.
And that was it.
And God said, “Trust me. This evening isn’t about you speaking. It’s about you listening. To ME. To these women’s hearts.”
So I left that bathroom not knowing exactly what I would say or precisely how I would say it, but understanding that God’s plan was bigger than any plans I had.
I can’t even tell you for sure what I ended up saying. But I know that God was there in a very real, very practical way giving me complete and indescribable peace on a stage in front of 100 plus strangers with not a single note in my hand.
I might never know exactly what each woman received last night. But I do know that God revealed a little more clearly what He’s always called me to do, but in brand new, fresh, and outside-the-box ways.
Because, as I was up there sharing my heart, sharing GOD’S heart, with these women, I was having a very hard time staying on stage. When I would see women crying in the audience as they heard of God’s restoration and healing, I wanted to put that microphone down, jump off the stage and run to them and put my arms around them. To pray with them. To grab their faces in my hands and say with everything in me, “Jesus loves you SOOOOOOOOOOO much!”
If Jesus calls to me to a stage again to trust Him completely, to share HIs love, I will do it. But my deepest heart’s calling is one on one encounters with individual women. Hearing their stories. Gently holding their hearts in my hands and massaging them with love. Sharing with them the love of One who so passionately pursues those hearts.