Apparently, when the weather shifts and there is rain in the air, people come indoors. Specifically, into Tully’s. There is not a spare chair or table in the place and people are standing and waiting for something to open up. I had to take a seat at a table with a man I don’t know, our computers back to back. By the looks of it, not a lot of conversation will be happening at this table. 🙂
And now I settle into the buzz, with one eye wandering occasionally to my little comfy chair in the corner occupied by an older gentleman and his two buddies on either side of him. Wait! They’re getting up!
Never mind. Someone already snagged it. Clearly, no one has noticed my name carefully etched into the faux leather arm of the chair. No worries. I will outlast every single person in this place. That chair WILL be mine. Eventually.
Old habits die hard. My arms are not comfortable in this new position of sitting in a straight backed chair in front of a small table. I can’t sit Indian style. I can’t nestle into my seat. This actually hurts a little bit.
I’m used to a relaxed posture when Jesus and I sit here at the computer. It’s where free-flowing starts for me. It’s the way I am able to tune out the other noise around me and see only a blank screen filling with letters and words and thoughts.
But maybe today is a reminder that God is doing something new and doing it in the way of His choosing. Not in my most comfortable fashion. In fact, the things He is doing in me are largely UNcomfortable. These things are taking me out of my preferred way of doing things and are shifting my position and posture.
Still, there is a simplicity in this straight backed chair this morning. With its clean lines and painfully stiff structure, it is keeping me on task, and at the same time making me very aware of my own need to adjust to a new surrounding.
There are other reminders and symbols of change as well. I cleaned out my closet. I mean CLEANED out my closet. I took three large bags of clothes to a thrift store. A kind of purging and simplifying that seems to be the theme of my existence right now. I reduced my wardrobe to about 1/3 of what it was. Strangely freeing. Less choices equals less stress. Less stress equals more contentment.
I have also (with the help and support and partnering of my sweet husband) drastically reduced my sugar intake. My addiction to sucrose began to feel like actual poison in my stomach and mind. I could feel my body’s reaction to it entering my system. Time to purge the diet as well. Literally, cleanse my palette. Another kind of simplifying. Painful, yet also oddly wonderful. Already I can see and feel the results of this change.
God is doing this in many areas of my life. Cleansing. Removing. Simplifying. Refining.
And this new journey that is taking place in the middle of a busy coffee shop shows signs of becoming something amazing. Even the act of allowing myself to be here and do this for hours at a time, this healing, this writing, this listening, this meeting of new people, carries with it a simplicity that my heart has so longed for but didn’t know how to find. A slowing down and focusing on few things instead of many. Of hearing God’s voice above all other voices and seeking His approval and no other. Letting go of plans and perceptions and preferences. Dismissing the exhausting list that daily played in my head of obligations and good intentions and the carrying of way too many burdens. To fully release any desire to people please and be able to, guilt-free, allow this time, however long it takes, to just be me and Jesus. Ignoring the voice that tells me it’s selfish and lean into the Voice that tells me it is necessary.
I thank you, dear friend and reader, for your patience and partnership in this endeavor. I look forward to sharing coffee with you here and to bringing you into this adventure with me. Delving deeper into Jesus and the glorious things He has to show us…
(My chair in the corner is still occupied and I am still uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, but upright 🙂 and for that I am thankful…)
Romans 8:28 – And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Philippians 4:12 – I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.